What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

My boyfriend wants to break up over too many petty arguments. To me, they are molehills because I truly love him & don't really think twice about them. If he loved me would he work through it?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Why don't I get sleep at nights?

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

Yes sir it is.

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Wow! The changeover from President Biden to VP Kamala Harris as candidate could not have been more successful in just 2 days! It was as if they had been planning it. Could they have planned it? Are you excited by the positive Democratic response?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

After a few moments he returns.

What is the lowest probability event you have personally witnessed?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Sure no problem officer.

{RING} {RING}

Why doesn't speeding significantly decrease one’s commute time? I've done a lot of road trips and driving and have experimented by increasing speed by 10–20%, but somehow this never equates to arriving 20% sooner, even on clear roads.

HELLO

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

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